It’s going to be a busy time for me over the next few months, with my NEW BOOBS to be sorted out, and reconstruction operations and double mastectomies and so on . It really makes me chuckle to even think I’m getting fake boobs.
I remember an evening in a place called the Sizzling Wok a few years ago where I got talking to some friends from work about fakeness including fake tan (which I’d just been to get, prior to a Christmas party) and fake boobs. I remember announcing that I’d never want to get a boob job, as other than othodontist treatment and one pair of earrings, I haven’t really self-modified nor has it ever appealed to me.
NEVER say never – it always always comes back to bite you massively in the arse. For example, the time in the sixth form at school that I said I’d NEVER get divorced. Haha! Oh, bless that callow young version of me. 😉
It’s still all a bit up in the air as to timings, but I saw the plastic surgeon today who showed me the cleverness that is an expandable silicone implant. ACTUAL pneumatic boobs! We even agreed that I could indeed go a little bit bigger if I want to at a later point, without needing additional ops, as it uses saline which can be pumped in via a special port under each arm! OK, very bizarre when you say it out loud, but hurray for technology, I say. Oh – I won’t be fit to star in a Kenny Everett show though, as they still won’t be huge balloon baps – at my age I would need total re-training on where to put them if they are too big, and I’m sure I would just look as ridiculous as Katie Price. 😛
There are options other than silicone, but they all involve hacking muscles out from my back or stomach… Yeuch! Whilst I don’t currently rock climb, who’s to say if I might want to one day… certainly I’m thinking hang-gliding is on this year’s agenda. Also, boobs aren’t really that useful to me in comparison to say, being able to do sit-ups / sit up in bed using my stomach muscles!
I told the surgeon today – I’m not going to hack bits of me up that work just fine, only in order to make something LOOK better that isn’t particularly useful! He gave me a surprised look, as if to say well, surely they are in use, and are good to have? Hmm… well, it’s not like I’m a parent nor is there any chance of that – since those parts of me aren’t in good working order either. Therefore, I’m sticking to the options that are least risky and damaging, and if my body decides it doesn’t like silicone, then so be it, I’ll make do without boobs. I still get the chance to rock-climb, that way. 🙂
Along with the new boobs I’m also hatching a hang-gliding plan – for real. 🙂
I’ve stayed in one place for too long
Gotta get on the run again
I saw the one thing that I want
Hell bent, get outta bed
I’m throwing rocks at your window
You’re tying the bed sheets together
They say that we’re dreaming too big
I say this town’s too smallDream, send me a sign
Turn back the clock, give me some time
I need to break out and make a new name
Let’s open our eyes to the brand new day
It’s a brand new day
Song by Ryan Star – music used on “Lie To Me” TV series
Alice... what's the matter? 