Wish you were here

Anniversaries and significant dates are always going to be tricky… or interesting… or devastating.

I am swinging wildly between them emotionally. It’s my birthday month and I love a good birthday, I always have. You gave me that love of birthdays.

One minute I am absolutely fine and having a laugh… and then suddenly something catches me off guard and I’m reminded. I will will never see you or speak to you again, Mum.

I know I’m incredibly lucky to have had the years with you that I did, knowing that you were there thinking about me and always wanting the best for me.

I don’t want to diminish the lovely people that are still in my life. I’m grateful for each and every one of them and the love they have for me. I just don’t want you to be gone.

Tonight, for example. I had a fun evening out with my friends.  Then I came home and I opened the post. There was a brochure for clothes that arrived today and it’s stuff that I like, so I was leafing through the pages and thinking “no, there’s nothing I particularly want… (this is probably a good thing)…”

…and then I spotted something that two years ago I would have bought you for Christmas, and I thought “ooh, that would be good for Mum, she’d like that!”

………………………oh.

Mum.

I wish you were here.

So, so you think you can tell…
Heaven from hell, 

blue skies from pain?
Can you tell a green field 

from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil? 

Do you think you can tell?

Did they get you to trade

your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees? 

Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change? 

And did you exchange
A walk-on part in the war 

for a lead role in a cage?

How I wish,

how I wish you were here
We’re just two lost souls 

swimming in a fish bowl, 

year after year.
Running over the same old ground…

and how we found
the same old fears; 

Wish you were here.

“Wish you were here” – by Roger Waters / Dave Gilmour  / Jon David