I want a dog

Ah… Now *this* is what I was expecting to feel like 6 weeks ago! At least I dodged it for the first 2! 😦

Eyes hurt
Throat dry
Loss of balance
Weird wobbly feeling in my legs
Veins hurt
Neck aches

I think despite a promising start (lunch with my sister after treatment was nice) I will have to write off this evening and go to sleep early. Today was nice (Jen) and horrid (needle fest!) in equal measure.

This cycle started rather traumatically since not only did the timing change last minute, they couldn’t find a good vein anywhere for half an hour that didn’t have me yelping with the pain (and believe me, I don’t say that lightly, since I don’t have injections at the dentist for fillings, folks!).

IMG_1593In the end I was trying not to bite the end off a bottle of water and Jen did a sterling job of trying to distract me – since I was pulling all kinds of gurning faces from being stuck in 4 different places by needles before we could finally get going. I know veins don’t like chemo, but mine shut up shop and went home for lunch!

And I miss Bob. Need cuddles. Steroids make me feel weepy and HORMONAL! Grrrr! 😉

The chemo makes me dizzy and my headache may be from that or the bone marrow stimulation injection.

The steroids are making everything seem like a massive deal because they are like taking a big horse sized PMT pill or something.

And my hand is sore.

And I had to crawl upstairs to bed – which did make me laugh a bit at myself (as if there was the version of me doing the things and then the other me watching me doing the things and shaking my head about the ridiculousness of all this) as I was climbing stairs on my hands and knees and bawling in the style of a 2 year old.

It did make me very pleased I have a cleaner to clean my stairs too, or that would have been an even more traumatic experience.

But anyway, here I am with my phone on dimmed setting, feeling dizzy, hungover but hyped up like I’m on something rather more racy than bottled water, not getting to sleep even though all of the above would suggest that this sleeping thing is a
Bloody Good Idea.

I want a dog,
A chihuahua
When I get back to my small flat
I want to hear somebody bark
Oh, you can get lonely

Don’t want a cat,
Scratching its claws all over my
Giving no love and getting fat
Oh, (oh oh) you can get lonely
And a cat’s no help with that

Lyrics by Neil Tennant