One of the scary things about having these new bumpers in front of me is that at some point I will be asked by the consultant (Mr J) to book myself in for a nipple reconstruction. I’ve talked about it before when I wrote the piece about Angelina Jolie.
Of course Mr J is probably going to be very keen to show off his best handiwork having got me so far along the process. From what I’ve heard from other ladies, he doesn’t really take no for an answer!
Thing is… I’m not sure how fussed I am to have fake nipples fashioned out of my own skin. That skin is pretty tight as it is (I believe that’s a common problem with implants), so I’m not convinced I’m going to respond well to it being pinched up even tighter. It’s not like I will ever be able to feel them…
Then, once the fake nipple has been made, I would also need to have the skin tattooed to make the fake nipples look the right colour and shape.
Personally, I’ve never been keen to have any tattoos. I still have a choice, I could just say I’m not going to bother. The other option is to change my attitude to tattoos on a very limited basis and actually have a more interesting tattoo painted on me instead, (in such a way as I can choose to cover it up with a bikini, still). I found some interesting examples of scar-covering tattoos on ladies who have just had mastectomies. At least it would give me a chance to do something pleasantly creative out of something so unpleasant.
One of the leading arguments in my head about not doing something a bit mad like that (other than pain and blood poisoning) was that skin goes wrinkly as you get older and tattoos cave in on themselves as they get hidden in the wrinkles and just end up emphasising the poor state of someone’s skin. In the case of my boobs, they don’t often get to see the sun so it’s probably a much lower risk than if I were a sun-worshipper.
On my journeys around t’interwebs, I also discovered that people who don’t even need to, are having their nipples tattooed, or “tittooed” as it is apparently being called, if we are to believe the tabloids. Perfectly sane women are going in and getting tattoo artists to darken their nipples because they seem to think it’s fashionable… Eh? Nipple fashions? I guess having not gone on a topless beach in the south of France or cruising around topless on one of my many luxury yachts I probably missed out on nipple colour becoming a fashion statement. So will this become as commonplace as all the things like lip fillers and cheek fillers? I guess so, if there are plenty of people that want their nipples to match their spray tan and it makes them happy to spend money doing so, then why should anyone else stop them?
Me? I frequently mourn for my real boobs because I wouldn’t have had my real ones amputated if there had really been any choice. I was happy with the ones I grew from scratch. Those were perfectly fine, thanks. No tattoos or extras included before breast cancer.
But… I try to move on. Life is full of interesting twists and turns and I’ve spent my afternoon researching tattoos, which is something that 20-year-old me would have never believed I would do in a million years! Whether I actually do something different? Hmm… More on that another time… 😉
Red dragon tattoo
Is just about on me
I got it for you
So now do you want me
With nothing to prove
Will you be my honey, oh yeah
In you I confide
Red dragon tattoo
I’m fit to be dyed
Am I fit to have you
Lyrics by Chris Collingwood, Adam Schlesinger (Fountains of Wayne) © EMI Music Publishing, Universal Music Publishing Group